What am I doing with my body?
By Skylar McVicar
Looking at that picture
I feel sick
I feel nauseous
I wish I hadn’t seen it
I quickly turn away
Glad I could ignore it, forget it maybe
Never going to forget it really
My stomach is turning
So many bodies
So many limp bodies
So many limp, cold bodies
So many limp, cold, sad bodies
So many limp, cold, sad, ignored, beaten, deceived, disrespected, hopeless, dead
Dead bodies
The fire will warm them up
Fire is good, fire gives heat, heat gives health, heat makes food, food gives health
Good fire
Wait
Bodies by the fire
Dead bodies by the fire
Limp, cold, sad, ignored, beaten, deceived, disrespected, hopeless, dead bodies
By the fire
In the fire
In the fire
No
I can’t look
Turn back around
Turn your strong, warm, fed, healthy body back around
Don’t look
In the fire
The bodies are in the fire
Feeding the fire
Fueling the fire
The fire survives
The bodies don’t
The fire gets stronger
Remains strong
Because my body is turned
I am ignoring it
But by ignoring it, I am feeding the fire
Fueling the fire
My Jewish body is still fueling the fire
No
Turn your strong, warm, fed, healthy body back around
Toward the picture
Look at it
Feel sick
Feel nauseous
It is a blessing to have these feelings
To be alive and have these feelings
Use these feelings
It is time to fuel a different fire with my strong, warm, fed, healthy body
*This image was first seen in Auschwitz and is analyzed in my research paper
*I took this photo while at Auschwitz
Cremation of corpses at Auschwitz-Birkenau. This photograph was taken clandestinely by prisoners in the Sonderkommando. Poland, summer 1944. Provided by USHMM Photo Archives
“CREMATION OF CORPSES AT AUSCHWITZ-BIRKENAU.” United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. Accessed April 1, 2020. https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/photo/cremation-of-corpses-at-auschwitz-birkenau.
